Healing and Letting Go

As a doctor, I've often seen death.  I've seen things I can't unsee.  When you ask a doctor, "What's the worst thing you've ever seen?" chances are, they will not tell you.  They will give you a funny little story that turned out well for the patient.  The first time I saw death, something surprised me.  There were no flashing lights, intense music, people rushing around - all those things you see on television.  What struck me was how "undramatic" it was.  One moment the patient was here, and the next they were gone.  I remember little things about the patients I've lost over the years.  I remember the longjohns one man was wearing; I imagined he never thought today would be his last when he put those on under his coveralls.  I remember a surgical scar on a man's abdomen, thinking his body will never have a chance to heal again.  The grass on the bottom of a women's tennis shoes - she was working the yard when she had a heart attack.  The scrape on my dad's knuckle that never got a chance to heal.  I'll never forget.